My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
