Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
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I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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