I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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