I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
