We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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