we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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