I want to have your abortion
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize