pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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