i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
