it wasn't lemon gatorade
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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