We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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