i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
