You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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