I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
that is very illegal...i love you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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