how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
