Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
