I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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