Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My first STD was from a foam party
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
