sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
