i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize