We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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