she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
