I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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