I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
