I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
