Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
