WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
