U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
