they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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