If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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