where am i from again
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
