batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
