he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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