Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
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He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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