Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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