CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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