I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
