Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
