So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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