It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
