Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
