I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize