We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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