i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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