umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
