Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
