shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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