Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
