i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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