have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
