dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize