Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize