Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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