no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
