Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
