everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize