My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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