She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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