She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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