I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
