there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
