where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she peed on how many people?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
