He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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