They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
